I don’t really know where to start, I woke up Thursday morning and was asked to drive 20 hours to see the World Premiere of the Pirates' new movie Hooked in Innsbruck and do a special report. Sometimes I hate my own mindset because I was very willing to drive a lot of miles for a couple of hard-to-get beers. Here is the teaser for Hooked, which gave me a full-on chub.

List of things to do tonight:

I brought my little notebook to ask random people at the party some random questions that will not make you any wiser, plus I interviewed people with a banana for no reason whatsoever, I wanted to get a dildo but our Method photographer needed it for herself.

Method Magazine Special Booze Correspondent David Van Gessel in action!

I arrived at the party around 11 pm and the security guards frisked me so hard it felt like I was getting a handjob from a gorilla. I pretty much ran into Arthur Longo straight away so I asked him how his season was. He looked at my banana and said “tough and fun”. He seemed a bit weirded out by me when I asked him if I was Christina Aguilera and I was a "Genie in a Bottle", what would be his wish. He answered “la copine”, I have no idea what that means so if somebody knows let me know in the comments, I wanna know!

Longo not feeling Van Gessel's banana

After that I went into the crowd to ask random girls which Pirate riders they would fuck, I should have made more photos of my notebook because none of the answers I got make any sense at all...

This girl was definitely on the snake hunt

 Hittin' Klocker with some questions

Some Australian guy I asked which Pirate rider's dick he would suck answered Tyler Chorlton, that made me smile.

Chorlton psyched on Burn and indecent male-on-male sexual proposals. Photo by Flash Horton

It seemed like of all the girls I asked which Pirate rider's dick they would suck, 80% wanted Lars Õsterle and there was one girl who would give her virginity to Arthur Longo.

Instant Dirty Sanchez. Longo's lovin' it. Photo by Flash Horton

After all this bullshit the movie started.

Leak!

Erik Botner had the first part, and he deserved it with some sick powder riding and a tasty combo of tech street. It definitely got the crowd to shut up and watch! After this mayhem my homie Gulli Gudmundsson completely killed it on the streets, I was really looking forward to his part and even though he fucked up his back this season he definitely delivered some good shit! My other homie Kalle Ohlson showed some sick overall tricks. He pretty much showed everybody how he feels at home at every spot he hits. Plus, he is single again so groupies be afraid, be very afraid.

Haze Ahlund on stage chuggin' cola with Botner and Kalle.

Then I think I saw the Helgason's doing some rails, I don’t really know what to say about those guys but they are fucking both just fucking insane, so good to watch them riding. The Frenchie Monsieur Longo showed some fucking creative and stylish riding, Arthur delivered a solid 3 or 4 minute part, whatever, it was just sick! Danny Larsen showed the world his brand spanking new mustache and leather jacket collection, such a good part. It definitely killed the Pirate reggae stoner vibe a bit.

Haze and Larsen gettin' loose. Photo by Flash Horton

Last but certainly not least, Halldor fucking killed it with his whole part. He is just sending it, a lot of double loopty loops and creative down rail killings. It was fucking sick! All in all, it was another great movie from the Pirate crew. I talked with Sani Alibabic about the whole Pirate vibe of this movie, because for me I kind of miss the 8mm style they had back in the day with Pirate Radio. Sani said production values and snowboarding itself are progressing so much... and I agree.

Trev-dawg, bitches

After that Trouble Andrew came on stage and the party started poppin'. I saw a guy in a wheelchair having a fucking insanely good time. Trouble looked like he was getting groupie oral on stage.

Smiles and cleavage all around! Looks like this dude brought the shrooms to the premiere. Great Job.

Looks like Longo had forgotten about the "copine" at this point. Unless this is who he was referring to all along...Photo by Flash Horton

Good vibes all around, it was definitely worth the 10-hour drive each way.

Here's the last page from notebook. Check list complete.

Signing off, this is Method Magazine Special Booze Correspondent David Van Gessel, reporting live from my bed after nearly dying four times on the drive home

-Photography: Sophie Faustenhammer & Flash Horton

Check the Burn Party edit while you are at it: