Here's another Print's Not Dead for your head, this time it's 5 Things with Canuckistani uber-dirtbag, our pal Dusty Crusty. Read on for his debauched answers to our lecherous questions!

5 things you'd like to knock out cold with a dildo
- Little kids
- Cats
- Raccoons
- Mountain sheep 
- Salmon

5 things you want written on your tombstone
- The man, the myth, the six-pack
- Lived, loved and lost
- He came, he saw, he impregnated
- Father to many
-He was an OK guy to be around

5 best words of advice you have ever gotten
- If you don’t have condoms use Saran wrap - my grandmother
- Don’t you boys forget to double bag it - my mother
- Let her buck
- The further out there you go, the wilder it gets
- How do you get a witch pregnant? You fuck her

5 things that you do better than Europeans
- Fight
- Drink
- Fish
- Snowmobile
- Bonfires

5 things you would do with an orangutan if it were street legal
- Give it bananas
- Take it for walks
- Teach it to pick up chicks
- Take it to the movies
- Give it a drug to make it smart so it could act in the next “Rise of the Planet of the Apes” movie

 5 things that come to mind when you hear the phrase “single-handedly”
- Fucked the dog
- Shit the bed
- Beat the monkey
- Took her virginity
- Made it happen

5 weird things you have done to animals
- Blew air into a dog's nose
- Throwing fish up in the air into the lake
- Hung a cat on my bunk bed when I was young, by mistake!
- Skinned a gofer
- Licked a deer’s brain

5 strangest places you have woken up
- The bottom of the skate bowl in Wanaka, NZ at 5 am
- Still inside a chick
- Some weird bushes
- My bed
- The box of my truck

 5 most AWESOME moments that happened filming for the CAPiTA movie
- I actually ended up filming a full part
- I got to snowboard with some dudes I never met before
- I went heli-boarding and got some wicked runs
- Snowmobiling in Canada was unreal
- The whole project was really cool

5 gnarliest things you saw this winter
- A lot of Americans in Canada this year
- Benji Ritchie got caught in an avalanche
- My sled's throttle got stuck on full and shot off a wind lip over 50-foot cliff
- Amy Winehouse died
- T.I. and Gucci Mane went back to jail

5 of the worst insults you've had thrown at you
- Mordor breath
- Handsome
- Nice
- Respectable
- Straight

5 best tricks in snowboarding right now
- Method
- Back 180
- Front 180
- Cab 360
- Handplants

5 nastiest things you've ever put in your mouth
- Lamb brains
- Worms
- Vagina
- Dirt
- Crickets

5 things you wish you had never done
- Jumped that cliff this summer into shallow water
- Slept with that total beater after the bar
- Fixed my front tooth
- Gotten sick
- Fallen in love

5 things you need to apologize for and why
- Fuck that!

5 things besides snowboarding that give you a chub
- Girls
- Pools
- Rain
- Water balloons
- Sprinklers

5 tricks to get rid of hangovers
- Drink more
- Fast food
- Lying in the shower
- Don’t get out of bed
- Painkillers

5 people you shouldn't have drinking contests with
- Mikey Rencz
- Mike Figouski (CAPiTA filmer)
- Blair Harper (Monster TM)
- Jordan Mendalman (Bar owner – Banff)
- Jake Welsh

5 highlights of your snowboarding career
- Making it out alive, so far
- Not making the Olympic team
- Making it to the pros
- Snowboarding with Danny Kass
- Learning how to snowmobile properly

Photo by Jeff Patterson, check out more of his photos HERE.

Check out the rest of issue 12.2 right HERE!